• Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

  • honk

  • Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after.

  • Does your train of thought have a caboose?

  • The Bible was written by the same people who said the Earth was flat.

  • Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?

  • Here I am! Now what are your other two wishes?

  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

  • Chaos, panic, & disorder-my work here is done.

  • Everyone thinks I'm psychotic, except for my friends deep inside the earth.

  • Earth is full. Go home.

  • Is it time for your medication or mine?

  • I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.

  • I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?

  • Could you drive any better if I shoved that cell phone up your Butt?

  • GROW YOUR OWN DOPE, PLANT A MAN

  • I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

  • Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.

  • Everyone has a right to be stupid. Some just abuse the privilege.

  • Having an out of body experience. Back in five.

  • Not one shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious.