Product Labels

You might think you know these silly product lables, we see them
every day. But have you ever read the small print? It's all there ...

On a Taiwanese blanket:
NOT TO BE USED AS PROTECTION FROM A TORNADO.
On a Taiwanese shampoo:
USE REPEATEDLY FOR SEVERE DAMAGE.
On a Korean kitchen knife:
WARNING: KEEP OUT OF CHILDREN.

On a helmet mounted mirror used by US cyclists:
REMEMBER, OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR ARE ACTUALLY BEHIND YOU.
On the bottle-top of a (UK) flavoured milk drink:
AFTER OPENING, KEEP UPRIGHT.
On a New Zealand insect spray:
THIS PRODUCT NOT TESTED ON ANIMALS.
In a US guide to setting up a new computer:
TO AVOID CONDENSATION FORMING, ALLOW THE BOXES TO WARM UP TO ROOM TEMPERATURE BEFORE OPENING. ( - Sensible, but the instruction was INSIDE the box.)
On a Japanese product used to relieve painful haemorrhoids:
LIE DOWN ON BED AND INSERT POSCOOL SLOWLY UP TO THE PROJECTED PORTION LIKE A SWORD-GUARD INTO ANAL DUCT. WHILE INSERTING POSCOOL FOR APPROXIMATELY 5 MINUTES, KEEP QUIET.
In some countries, on the bottom of Coke bottles:
OPEN OTHER END.
On a packet of Sunmaid raisins:
WHY NOT TRY TOSSING OVER YOUR FAVOURITE BREAKFAST CEREAL?
On a Sears hairdryer:
DO NOT USE WHILE SLEEPING.
On a bag of Fritos:
YOU COULD BE A WINNER! NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. DETAILS INSIDE. (The special for shop lifters)
On a bar of Dial soap:
DIRECTIONS - USE LIKE REGULAR SOAP. ( ... and that would be how?)
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert:
DO NOT TURN UPSIDE DOWN. ( ... printed on bottom of the box)
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
PRODUCT WILL BE HOT AFTER HEATING.
On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
FOR INDOOR OR OUTDOOR USE ONLY.
On a Japanese food processor:
NOT TO BE USED FOR THE OTHER USE.
On Sainsbury's peanuts:
WARNING - CONTAINS NUTS.
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
INSTRUCTIONS - OPEN PACKET, EAT NUTS.
On a Swedish chainsaw:
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO STOP CHAIN WITH YOUR HANDS OR GENITALS.
On a child's superman costume:
WEARING OF THIS GARMENT DOES NOT ENABLE YOU TO FLY.
On some Swann frozen dinners:
SERVING SUGGESTION: DEFROST. (But it's just a suggestion!)
On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
FITS ONE HEAD. (Whose? mine or thine?)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
DO NOT IRON CLOTHES ON BODY. (But wouldn't that save more time?)
On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
DO NOT DRIVE CAR OR OPERATE MACHINERY. (We could do a lot to reduce the construction accidents if we just kept those 5 year olds off those fork lifts.)
On Nytol sleep aid:
WARNING: MAY CAUSE DROWSINESS. (One would hope!)

The best one last! Not really a product label, I know. But still, just imagine
To me, this looks real enough.

Funstuff